Remembering how to play with yourself is actually really freaking hard! How long has it been since you took out that box of legos? Since you picked up a video game controller? Since you put together a puzzle!

For me, remembering that art = play is crucial in creating beautiful, and yes, SERIOUS works of art. The best thing about waking up sometimes is that I get to grab some colors and splash around on whatever I want. I can create a new world or try with all my might to capture some of the beauty of this one.

For a while during this program a little voice has muttered in the back of my mind:

“Are you more comfortable fearing success despite your failures, or being a victim of your own artist’s block?”
It’s not an easy question. It has taken 9 weeks of introspection and study to answer.

And the answer is:

I am more comfortable being afraid of the unknowns of success in creating, than I am being a victim of my own stubborn willpower to resist creating. I am more willing to try, over and over, and over again when something doesn’t feel right than I am willing to quit. Creative success is built by creative failures. It is built upon the bones of creative failures. How we survive these creative failures will determine our success in the future. If you resist the urge to do any work, you won’t actually get anywhere. So, despite your failures, keep trying. Master chefs cut many of their own fingertips before they became masters. 
 
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”
~Anaїs Nin

The Artist's Way: (Link)

We spend a lot of time measuring things. We measure our self-worth, we measure time, measure food, we measure everything! A measurement isn’t any good without a decent frame of reference. A lot of artists make the mistake of referencing masterworks of master artists, and measuring themselves against masters’ most profound works! I am one of those artists.

But, I have learned that my measurements were all sorts of messed up. Measuring like that is a sure way to succeed at feeling like a failure. That’s an awful frame of reference. We can’t measure ourselves against master’s masterpieces. We need their student work to see the growth, and struggle through that growth that these masters endured.

Just remember as you make art, and grow, that real criticism feels good. Blanket irrational statements that can’t be directly refuted aren’t criticism. They’re an opinion! Encouragement is an essential nutrient for your soul as an artist. Encourage yourself, and do the work that you know you need to do. Stop resisting the flow of the universe. It wants you to be the best you. 

"No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently."
​~Agnes De Mille

The Artist's Way: (Link)
 
I don’t even know where to begin. I have made more art in the past few weeks, than I have in the past few years. I have been painting and thinking about painting non-stop so much that I am dreaming about being paint.

I had this dream this week where I was deep ocean-blue paint running down the page, mixing with water in the most beautiful way. It feels incredible to bring this out, even if I am not doing it so well. I don’t mind that so much anymore, and eventually I will be painting masterfully.

I still want to encourage you, if you’re reading, to do as much artwork as you can. Don’t judge yourself, and let the creativity become something on its own. Try to nudge the water where it wants to go, but realize that it is alive, and also has a will of its own. Help the paint go where it wants, the notes where they feel, and let the experience of being alive come out of your work. Try to see into the dream world, and bring the artwork that you know exists there into 3D reality.

“We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.”

~Agnes de Mille

The Artist's Way: (Link)
 
This program is so.....so...hard. After learning Spanish, Chinese, several programming languages, and teaching myself electrical engineering, I have never pushed myself as hard in something which should be so simple.

Accepting myself.

I am an artist, and always have been. My subjects were unfocused, but I am getting a clearer and clearer image everyday of where I am being guided. Guided by the universe, by fate, by god, whatever you want to call the invisible hand guiding our decisions. The geometric structure of the universe responds to your vibrations. Like an opera singer shattering a crystal glass, the universe reacts to your thoughts, and constructively increases the harmony, or disharmony that you emanate. Isaac Newton describes this in classical mechanics where each action has an equal and opposite reaction. Once you accept yourself, and move towards your greater harmony, the universe will pick up the rest.  

All my life I have been told by society, family, authority, that art wasn’t a way to make a living or career. That is absolutely, one hundred percent bull-fooey. You can do this.

You can make art, and you should.

​Even if you think it sucks.